no matter what time of year, this island provides. So I missed working with them, but the 2 french canadian girls decided they'd come back for a week to visit the island before leaving for good. thats right, you read it. french canadian. Amelie and Audrey.If the french canadian deal didnt do it, 20 years ago at birth, their mothers knew they'd become friends and named them in accordance to their hotness and the fact that they'd hang together in a perfect pair. They decided to dine at the restaurant and what a shame, I had to wait on their table. After explaining to me I'd have had "soooo much fun working with them" I explained that it would be quite the other way around. Last night we proceded to get quite drunk at harbourmasters and farewell the girls with a 5 man moonie off the end of Matiatia wharf before a midnight swim. And watching my white ass under an illuminated light, Amelie and Audrey sailed out of my life.

I'll miss those hotties and their wonderful accent. in other news I had an attempt at being the pastry chef the other night on a quiet night. considering everything is preped fairly well I'm pretty awexome. also, i'm spending a lot of time in the vines pruning which makes me a fairly buff rugged man, and very attractive to gay males.
dear peter, I hope your alive by the end of the week.
love allan

Fuck the dole. Too much effort. Ha.
I'll just get a real job.
I will be coming back to good old Wellington next year. It's cool down here, but if your not a student it's easy to get over it. I'm not over it yet but I can see it getting old after six months.

All of you who like Jurassic 5 must come to the concert with me. Ill be coming up for it on the 3rd of july (also the birthday of fair Anna).

Hope you're all having a lovely time.

I made about 20 signs last night keeping the vivid and A3 pad with me the whole time and went to a pro wrestling match in petone. You don't know shitting yourself with laughter until you are ringside to one of these things. I called the bad boy hero a square and he threatened to "put the boot in" by pointing to his shoes and saying "ARE THESE SQUARE? HUH?". I have never been so loud and abusive in my life I think not to mention during a royal rumble (yes folks, a 12 man royal rumble) some dude landed at my feet and I wouldn't leave him and his mother alone. That was all so awesome. I will post photos later. Woodgate 4 prez, etc.

I always say that there is a first time for everything.

I realise now that having ones heart broken is included in this.

Two words; Unemployment Benefit.

Well, I'm a lazy sod to put it simply. I was begining to get on to getting a job but then a fellow named Bjorn told us (my friend Greta and I) the he met a fellow who had just purchased a back packers and wanted him to paint it. The job will supposedly take ten people four weeks working five das a week, eight hours a day. Paying $15 an hour, cash in hand works out to be around $2400. So I stopped looking for a full time job. The problem is the painting job was supposed to start seven days ago.
So I've begun handing out CVs again but things aren't looking too good. I've got about $1.

The point of all this is to prove the validity of my decision to go on the unemployment benefit.

Having fun. Missing lots of you and my dog who is still alive apparently.

More soon. Bye.

last night I went out with the gay boys to a food hall in ponsonby. I wouldnt have picked either of the 3 of jeffs good friends I met would have been gay. not in the least camp. just dressed well. nice dudes. so funny though. we were in some bar on ponsonby road and this guy came up and said hi to jeff and was introduced to me. had a quick chat and then left. later on jeff told me the guy had come up to him after and said "he's quite nice , how do I get to know him better?" jeff said "you dont". As i'm fairly hot the gay boys want me. then we went to a bar called 'surrender dorothy' and on the wall inside "your local gay bar" and sure enough it was. not a really raving glam style one though. but none the less all the dykes piled in and there were a few other gay boys in the corner. I think I saw the hottest lesbian I've ever seen. jeffs mates promised me they'd take me to a straight bar next time. an amusing night to say the least.
in other news, I live on a beautiful island which I thank the lord for every day.

I guess one good thing about being sick is that I don't have to feel guilty for spending hours on the compy. Today I made this new style, which I am fairly happy with. It loads a new one of these wallpaper images everytime, from the lovely folks at Kaliber10000. If you don't like it, of course, you can just let the wonderful math.random() function choose a new style for you.

Alright, my lovelies?

update:And this new style too. Hover over the creepy guy's face to see the css sprites in effect.

3 big 'eek's today:

1) man with pink spraypaint round his face and a plastic bag
2) walking past buskers playing 'Mad World' and crying a little bit
3) Trinity Roots' new album

rory drinks too much

richard is sick and has final exam tomorrow

peter is cold and allan is hot

What do you notice about this picture?



If you said "HA! Shame! All your friends moved as far away from you as possible!", you'd be correct.

At least my website is cool.

I live on an island again.
man its cool. I have half a house to myself (free board of course!) and a quality job. yesterday we took dannys new powerboat out for a spin and I attempted a mid winter wakeboard with no wetsuit. hauraki gulf isnt that warm at the moment. that wasnt helped by the fact i spent the whole time in the water cos (haha yes) I couldnt get it up. (the wakeboard you dirty shits)
in conclusion, life is chill now.com

hey
quickly though because I am off to play snooker in i dont know how many minutes.
Wow. Dunedin!
Good things about Dunedin #12: you can leave a half empty bottle of chocolate milk next to your bed for days and it wont go off!
My room was 3.5 degrees celcius the other night. thats half a degree coler the a fridge! blimey.
Um...

Must dash.
I will try to write something more informational at a later time

be good.

I think the Dream Socks are starting to feel a little used. Last night they turned against me. I think I had better lay off for a while.

Me and Anna and Tim where in our flat up Karori way when I suddenly remembered that I had the premiere of DMcC Films' latest, Agro-phobia to attend. I convinced Tim to take me down, but on the way Anna wanted to juice an avocado at the local public juicing machine. While she was inside juicing her avocado (that she got from Tara...) I popped into the dairy-slash-plumbing store next door. I only had three dollars so I was looking for chips or some crap like that, but couldn't find my way out of the plumbing department. Then I figured the place out and was heading for the Chupa Chups when two ambo drivers came out pushing a gurney with a the top half of a bloodied and burnt corpse. I turned away, still intent on my two gold coins, making my way for the indian with the big moustache behind the counter. Instead of chips though, I found the bottom half of a bloodied corpse and a very large meat cleaver occupying an oversized perspex incubator. At this point I really freaked. Like. Went absolutely ballistic. At the same time as freaking out though I was sorta thinking 'hey look at me be awesome, making a scene in a dairy.' Some big tall cop dude came over and helped me get out of the shop and back into the car and said 'Yeah, he drowned. Bloody idiots without life jackets.' It felt like the punchline of the dream when I looked down in my hands to see that instead of a bag of chips, I had bought the Bo' Selecta! dvd and was all like 'Gosh darn it! I've already seen this one!'

To:Lisa Gough, Harcourts Real Estate Agent
goughfamily@paradise.net.nz
From:Richard D. Bartlett
richarddbartlett@gmail.com

Afternoon,
Today I got your letter addressed to the neighbours of 26 Davis Gr, inviting us to introduce people to our community. While I am not in the market myself, I was going to email you and say what a nice idea it was to talk to the neighbours like that. I am quite keen on community-type stuff. Then I was going to email you and tell you that
you're a babe. Then I realised there is a 'family' in your email address and I thought I'd better flag the email, just have a look around the website. Now I do have to email you, because the reference ID# for the property you are selling is not listed on the website: I get, "No properties matched your criteria. The property may have been
sold or leased." [see:]. So you might want to get that fixed.

Unless of course you have already sold the place, in which case I should be emailing to congratulate you.

Regards,
Richard D. Bartlett

Second-equal favorite cousin Karl is in the Solomons. he does some sort of air force whatsit with bullets and ordinoodles or something. every couple of weeks he sends out The Sollie Times which he writes to keep us all informed (one of these days I will tell him to get a blog). It starts with The News: 'I found an unexploded WWII shell', 'I go to work in a chopper', 'I met Phil Goff'; then there is Wildlife Corner, which is mostly about rats. This week he had a Romance Bit and some Sports News too:

"...we won the third game and all of a sudden it was best out of five games. The Aussies don't care to lose, especially to us. We won the next two games making it 4 games to one to which they called best out of seven however since aussies seem not to be able to count too well we had to tell them it would have to be best out of nine and they decided not to play anymore and went off to tie a kangaroo down or something."


In conclusion, Karl is Kool for Kids.

gianni says:
well......................i came home with a mate blindly drunk on monday morning round 3am by 4am we realised because we were to0 drunk my car was stolen , yea i had a cry for a while but the funny part is they found it on fire last night in avalon park with a safeofmoney welded to the car from the heat of the fire
Richard D. Bartlett says:
AWESOME
YOU ARE BADASS
gianni says:
bro my car was on fire in avalon park! man i love avalon


in conclusion, Gianni is awesome and I don't blame him for being a grinning wigga.

I'm considering becoming an alcoholic.


thats right. I think I've drunken the last 5 nights in a row. It sounds incredibly wrong but let me explain. design school wires me big time. my work pattern means bed time is usually 2 in the morn, probolem being I come straight from school straight to bed, with no unwind time (because of course its rock and roll on the stereo all the way home) i've been taking to having a small nightcap to chill me, say a small glass of port.
the other night I came home and mum and her friend had 2 bottles of wine open but had only drunken about a third of each. I polished the rest of one that night, and the rest of the next, the next night. saturday my parents went to oz, so on the way home I got a cask of everyones favourite, country dry white on the way home. Music, incence, fire and wine accompanies painting at 2 in the morn quite nicely. this has happened the last 2 nights, and my painting and music and everything is exceding beyond belief. so heres the plan. become an alcoholic, release my first album, one of those real amazing emotional, yet awesome ones (cos your not an old lush yet so your still makin real on it stuff) and then stop and have an amazing music career remembering how i'll "never go back to that place again"

Dream Socks. I guess that's weird.

I can't wear socks to bed. I always forget this and end up changing positions and blankets and opening windows and finally realizing I'm wearing socks and I'm instantly exhausted the moment I pull them off. But there's one pair... Think of the fuggliest baggiest fluffiest brown socks - these are my Dream Socks. Whenever I sleep with these socks on, I dream the most vivid dreams. It's like I'm out and about meeting people all night long. The first time I discovered the magical power of the sock, I was greeted by an over-exposed Robyn O wearing that hot white jacket that would look So Good on Al and we just sorta cruised town and looked cool. Last night I was lost in the bush for some reason and I was looking for shelter and I had to fight this bloody great kangaroo for his nice spot out of the rain (fight as in Title Fight as in I boxed the sucker). There have also been numerous cruising-around-being-awesome experiences. I adjure you all to test all your socks for these mystical properties.

Also I drove the holden up to Kaitoke and I am cool (Kaitoke is Te Reo for "a feed and a smoke").

sugar-free eye-candy

thursday 11.45 on channel 3 is Short Cuts ( = short films)

last night there was one with a taxi driver, and he gets pulled over by the cops and gets a ticket for having a scummy car and one door only closes when you have the central locking on and he is poor and 6 kids and working two jobs

then he picks up a fare and the dude says 'go to the port' and when he gets to the port he realises that the passenger is dead

so he chucks the dead man out at the port and is cleaning the blood out of his car when he sees this bag and he is about to chuck the bag in the sea when a cellphone rings, in the bag

so he picks up the phone and its the nasty man who killed the first guy and hes all like 'oh its you taximan, i saw you pick him up, now you come back here with my money or i will hunt you down'

and so the taximan goes and picks up the drunk killer and gives him back his bag of money and then the drunk guy makes him play russian roulette with a double barreled shotgun and he is getting all mean and stuff and wants to take the taximan hostage to keep him from squealing to the cops

so the taximan is freaked out and doesnt know what to do and he goes up to a roundabout at 100k and pulls the handbrake and then hits the central locking and the door flys open and the baddy falls out and gets wasted on the street

and some of his money falls out and some is left with the taximan and so the taximan just goes home and when he pulls up to his house, a cop pulls up behind him

and its the same cop from the start and she tells him off for still being out
and then she gets a call on her radio 'drunk unconscious on the road - possible hit and run'

and then she goes 'this is your lucky night mate' and doesnt give him another ticket and says 'just dont let me see you out in this crappy car again' and he fingers the money in his pocket and assures her she wont

ACCORDION: Well , in '82 I stopped in Pittsburgh. At that time you could get a bus ticket for $99 bucks anywhere in the country. Well I was fooling around with this Air Force major's wife. He was dead, and she got a big check, so I didn't really have to work too much. [link]

Andrea says:
boobs are cool.
Richard D. Bartlett says:
nah I don't relaly like boobs eh.

I just finished my book. You have 24 hours to reccommend my next one. I don't mind if it is very large. When girls see you reading a large book they go 'erk' but then they see that you have a pink hat on, you own your own business, and you split your infinitives with gay abandon.